All right, time for an explanation, I suppose.
Last week, I alluded in the Justice Gator post to the fact that I was having an unbelievably long, busy week. I did feel bad, leaving everybody hanging with no new blog content. This week has been quite a bit easier; next week will be bad again. Though not quite as bad as last week, knock on wood. Truth be told, I've been saying to myself for a couple of months that, once I get through May, I think I'll live to see 32. But really, it's been more a matter of "once I make it to 5/12, I've got a fighting chance to make it the rest of the way." So I will try to walk you through my week, so's you know where I's coming from.
This isn't a ploy for sympathy, mind you, because I'm not complaining. Just a window into the life of a guy with four jobs, two kids, and one car. For any of you who are thinking of pursuing such a lifestyle yourselves :-)
Monday: Monday was weird for a lot of reasons. For one, I only got about 2.5 hours of sleep the night before. You might think this was because I was out at Iron Man 3, but it wasn't. I actually still had a shot at about 4 hours of sleep at that point, and 4 hours is not too far from my norm these days. For some reason, I just couldn't fall asleep when I went to bed, and then I had to wake up at 5 to catch the bus for my booking in Katy. Made it to the 5:50 bus on time and stepped off my 3rd bus in Katy at 7:02 (like clockwork). Then, I received the news that my grandfather had died that morning right about the time I was falling asleep. Grandpa Alex and I were not particularly close. In fact, I rarely saw him the last several years I lived in Kansas, and the only times I saw him after that were after he moved in with my parents. He hadn't lived a particularly admirable life, at least not where family goes, and he also spent most of his life pretty adamantly avoiding God. Over the past few years, I would see him when we went up for Christmas, and I'd take the boys. By that point, he was in an assisted living facility and it was clear he wasn't always 100% "there." All this to say it wasn't a major emotional blow to find that he was gone, but it was still quite a bit of a surprise, and it did make for a very surreal morning. (I forget if we had 2 or 3 performances that day, but I think it was 2) I kept trying to contact home to make sure everybody was all right, and my mom assured me that my dad was doing very well, which I admit I found puzzling because I know how hard my dad had been praying for his dad, and now it seemed like he was gone without having ever changed his mind about Christ. Later, I learned that, in grandpa's last day, he had a window of mental clarity during which he spoke with the nursing home chaplain and, in that time, he did accept Christ. Once I learned that, I understood why my dad and his brother had been taking this so well. Because Grandpa Alex was ready to go. His body had been going downhill for years. Ditto with his mind. So for God to grant him that last bit of mental clarity, that last chance for redemption, and for Grandpa to have taken it--I'll just say I'm stunned anew by the grace of God, and I can see now why Grandpa's passing was more of a celebration than a mourning. Because all the time that was lost by his choices in this life is nothing compared to the time we'll have together in glory.
Anyway, after my performance on Monday, I was dropped off a the bus stop to learn that I had missed my bus by five minutes. (This happens ALL the time) It was about noon by this point and the next bus going downtown (to begin my 2+ hour commute back via the metro system) wasn't due for another 45 minutes, so I decided to walk back down the street to grab a bite at Fuzzy's Pizza, which I'd never tried before. It was great. It also took longer than I expected, so I also missed the next bus and had to wait another half hour. I think I finally made it home sometime between 5 and 6, but most of the details from that day are pretty hazy. I don't remember anything from that night except tiredness.
Tuesday: not as bad a Monday. I did get closer to 5 hours of sleep. Which is...good? Normally on Tuesdays I go in to the church for staff meeting, but I called off that day because I was in dire physical need of rest. I decided to run some errands in the morning and then snooze in the afternoon. However, the "getting a new phone charger" errand ended up taking about three and a half hours. Long, uninteresting story. You've all been there. So by the time my errands were done, it was time to get the boys, get Kim, and head to the ballpark for the night. Fortunately, I was one of the ones cut loose early, so it was only a 4-hour shift. That hurts the bank account somewhat, but it suited me just fine, knowing the rest of the week was still ahead of me. Plus, I was tired. Unfortunately, since Kim and the boys had dropped me off, I didn't have the car, so it was buses home for me. Which means I still got home a little after midnight.
Wednesday: Wednesday was almost a normal day. My morning call-time was fairly late, so I didn't have to wake up at 5 to catch a bus. Instead I took the boys to school and the sitter and took Kim to work before catching the train downtown to catch the bus to Katy. Also, the booking ran late enough that I scheduled myself out from the ball game, so I was able to come home as soon as the booking was over. (Again, it was two performances, I think) I even planned on going to bed early (10:30 p.m. or so) that night.
Didn't count on the baby getting sick.
Blah blah blah, rock-a-baby, rock-a-baby, bottom line is bed time was actually 3 a.m.
Thursday: Thursday was rough because Isaac was still sick. He was cranky, he cried all day, he wouldn't sleep for longer than half an hour, I hurt my back carrying him all night and day. It was a long day. And then another ball game. Again, I was fortunate to go home early, but unfortunate to be headed home on the bus.
Friday: And we saved the best for last. Bam! Five o'clock wakeup call. Triple performance. Bus back into downtown, kill a little time at the library instead of coming all the way home, walk to the ballpark for a full game PLUS fireworks. I will say I was again awed by God's grace, as I actually lasted this day much better than I expected to, especially given the previous four days' worth of activity and sleeplessness. But I made it, I made it, I made it. Thank God it's the weekend.
Saturday: Only I have to teach two acting classes on Saturdays. Well, I more "assist" with the first and teach the second. But this day almost got me. I had to step out of the room for a few minutes during the first class to steady myself. Getting a bit jittery, you know? But I got myself under control, finished up the class, put some food in my stomach, and finished strong. And then, of course, went to work another ball game.
So there you have it. Seven performances, four ball games, two acting classes, and about 24 hours of sleep over 6 days. Next time I say "I've got along week ahead" or "I've had a really busy week," you now have a frame of reference :-)
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
Justice Gator
I know I haven't checked in this week. Trust me, it's been a long week. However, I needed to pass this story along about a man who robbed a car, eluded police officers, was attacked by an alligator, and was arrested in the hospital. However, according to state law, any gator that attacks a person has to be put down, so if they ever find Justice Gator they have to kill it.
It's pretty much The Dark Knight, only with an alligator.
This article is totally worth reading just to get the neighbors' reactions at the end.
Fight on, Justice Gator. We'll chase you, because you can take it.
It's pretty much The Dark Knight, only with an alligator.
This article is totally worth reading just to get the neighbors' reactions at the end.
Fight on, Justice Gator. We'll chase you, because you can take it.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Moses
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
It occurred to me on the bus last night (around midnight, after getting a full 5 hours of sleep for the first time this week--context!) that this makes no sense.
Unless Moses is dealing with some sort of deeply-rooted psychological denial, he can't suppose something he already knows is untrue. At least, not when it comes to toes. (I'm not gonna say we haven't all supposed something we've known wasn't true at some point in our lives, generally while in love) If Moses knowses his toeses aren't roses, then he doesn't really suppose that they are roses. Just makes no sense.
I mean, right?
So I spent the last leg of my long commute home working it out. I finally came to the conclusion that there are two Moseses in this story, and the sentences are just ambiguously worded. This isn't all that unusual, especially where Moses is involved, because the Bible does this all the time. Seriously, there have been times when I've had to go back and reread a verse four or five times to make sure I knew who was doing what to whom. ("And so he went with him, and he with him. And on the way, he took what was his and hit him, and thus they became enemies from that day forth.") Upon this realization, I tried to piece together which Moses thought what about whose toes. I am assuming here that Moses 1 (or "Moses Prime") is actually biblical Moses, because how many other Moses (Mosai?) would you bring up, first-name only, with no other explanation? Obviously, at least one more, because we get no clues on Moses #2 either, but I am assuming that this was to make a bit of a play on names once Moses Prime has already been introduces. There have been a few other prominent Mosai throughout history, my favorite of which was Harriet Tubman. However, Harriet was a she, and so she doesn't fit my hypothesis about the pronoun confusion above, so we can't use her. A quick Google search for "Famous Moseses" yields the following: "Did you mean 'famous horses'". Which, of course, I did not. I was going to go with NBA Hall-of-Famer Moses Malone, but eventually I decided on Moses Martin, seven-year-old son of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay's Chris Martin, because you could see this kind of misunderstanding happening between a hero of both Jewish and Christian faiths and a seven-year-old.
So, Moses (prime) supposes his (?) toeses are roses. This could very well mean Moses Prime supposes Moses Prime's toeses are roses, but Moses Martin, he knowses Moses Prime's toeses aren't roses as Moses Prime supposes Moses Prime's toeses to be. And now the song makes sense. Contrariwise, you could say that Moses Prime supposes his (Moses Martin's) toeses are roses, but Moses Martin knowses Moses Martin's toeses aren't roses, as Moses Prime supposes Moses Martin's toeses to be.
Either interpretation now make sense.
Except something was still a bit off, at least in my mind. Why would Moses Prime call either his or Moses Martin's toes "toeses"? I suppose even Moses Martin is old enough to have moved past that stage developmentally. Thus I began to wonder if there wasn't a third someone in this scenario. Someone who may have said the word "toeses" and Moses Prime, unfamiliar with the term, assumed he said "roses" while Moses Martin clearly understood the word uttered as "toeses." And then the final piece clicked into place.
You know where this is headed, people.
And that is how, just after midnight and after too many hours on the bus and too few hours of sleep, I determined that the song above is actually referring to a misunderstanding between Moses, the son of Gwyneth Paltrow, and Gollum.
It occurred to me on the bus last night (around midnight, after getting a full 5 hours of sleep for the first time this week--context!) that this makes no sense.
Unless Moses is dealing with some sort of deeply-rooted psychological denial, he can't suppose something he already knows is untrue. At least, not when it comes to toes. (I'm not gonna say we haven't all supposed something we've known wasn't true at some point in our lives, generally while in love) If Moses knowses his toeses aren't roses, then he doesn't really suppose that they are roses. Just makes no sense.
I mean, right?
So I spent the last leg of my long commute home working it out. I finally came to the conclusion that there are two Moseses in this story, and the sentences are just ambiguously worded. This isn't all that unusual, especially where Moses is involved, because the Bible does this all the time. Seriously, there have been times when I've had to go back and reread a verse four or five times to make sure I knew who was doing what to whom. ("And so he went with him, and he with him. And on the way, he took what was his and hit him, and thus they became enemies from that day forth.") Upon this realization, I tried to piece together which Moses thought what about whose toes. I am assuming here that Moses 1 (or "Moses Prime") is actually biblical Moses, because how many other Moses (Mosai?) would you bring up, first-name only, with no other explanation? Obviously, at least one more, because we get no clues on Moses #2 either, but I am assuming that this was to make a bit of a play on names once Moses Prime has already been introduces. There have been a few other prominent Mosai throughout history, my favorite of which was Harriet Tubman. However, Harriet was a she, and so she doesn't fit my hypothesis about the pronoun confusion above, so we can't use her. A quick Google search for "Famous Moseses" yields the following: "Did you mean 'famous horses'". Which, of course, I did not. I was going to go with NBA Hall-of-Famer Moses Malone, but eventually I decided on Moses Martin, seven-year-old son of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay's Chris Martin, because you could see this kind of misunderstanding happening between a hero of both Jewish and Christian faiths and a seven-year-old.
So, Moses (prime) supposes his (?) toeses are roses. This could very well mean Moses Prime supposes Moses Prime's toeses are roses, but Moses Martin, he knowses Moses Prime's toeses aren't roses as Moses Prime supposes Moses Prime's toeses to be. And now the song makes sense. Contrariwise, you could say that Moses Prime supposes his (Moses Martin's) toeses are roses, but Moses Martin knowses Moses Martin's toeses aren't roses, as Moses Prime supposes Moses Martin's toeses to be.
Either interpretation now make sense.
Except something was still a bit off, at least in my mind. Why would Moses Prime call either his or Moses Martin's toes "toeses"? I suppose even Moses Martin is old enough to have moved past that stage developmentally. Thus I began to wonder if there wasn't a third someone in this scenario. Someone who may have said the word "toeses" and Moses Prime, unfamiliar with the term, assumed he said "roses" while Moses Martin clearly understood the word uttered as "toeses." And then the final piece clicked into place.
You know where this is headed, people.
And that is how, just after midnight and after too many hours on the bus and too few hours of sleep, I determined that the song above is actually referring to a misunderstanding between Moses, the son of Gwyneth Paltrow, and Gollum.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Happy Day to Me
Hello, Thirty-one.
It used to be it would feel strange when I'd say my new age the first couple of times. "How old are you?" "Twenty-six." Twenty-six? Dang, that sounds so old! Surely that's not me! Nowadays, not so much. I generally feel way older than I actually am. So thirty-one sounds just about right for me.
I hid my birthday from Facebook this year because something was just sitting wrong with me about the literally hundreds of well-wishes from folks who probably don't even think about my existence until FB reminds them that it's my birthday. Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I appreciate the reminder for my FB friends' birthdays and like the chance to send well-wishes, even if I don't really "keep up" with them. But I didn't want that for me this year, for whatever reason, so I hid. And to be honest, I've had a very nice, quiet day. Admittedly, my day started too early when Isaac decided we needed to get up at 5:00 on the one day I was going to get to sleep in until 6:30. But aside from some general fatigue (who's got two thumbs and is working at the Juice Box tonight? This guy! And those thumbs come in handy at the workplace, believe me! Actually, I always wonder if that saying ticks off people who've lost fingers in construction accidents. But I digress) it's been a very nice day. We're not doing "anything special" for my birthday, which is another something I'm fine with. Sunday night, Kim let me go to what will almost certainly be my last Aeros game as a sort of present to myself. Tuesday, Kim took all the time to make not one, but THREE lasagnas (the other two in the freezer for another day), which is my absolute favorite dish. Last night, she and Robbie made a new dessert called a cookie dough cream pie. Oh my gosh, you guys. It's so good. And unbelievably rich. And today? Just sort of a normal day. Talked to a few family members, got a few texts. Even got a text from the future late last night. About to go get Robbie, then go get Kim, then get dropped off at the park for work and get in late tonight.
Oh, and once again Marvel is giving me an awesome movie for my birthday, but I'm not going to get to it until Sunday night.
On the whole, life is good :-)
Looking ahead to Year 31: I have a feeling it's going to be a big one. I can see how year 29 was like the start of a new chapter. In a lot of ways, it was about breaking me down, teaching me. This past year has been about building back up, growing in new ways. And it feels like it's been building toward...well, now. Maybe I'm just used to trilogies, but it feels like this is going to be a big year for my family and I.
And in that vein, I've resurrected my flickr 365 project. Think of it as a sequel. A photo-a-day diary of the opportunities and changes that come our way between now and May 2, 2014. Maybe we'll get to the end, look back, and say, "Yeah...turns out Year 31 was actually pretty boring."
But I doubt that'll be the case.
Anyway, check it out. (It's boring right now, but there's more pictures to come) If nothing else, you'll get to see my cute kids' smiling faces pretty much every day. That's worth thirty seconds of your time daily, right?
It used to be it would feel strange when I'd say my new age the first couple of times. "How old are you?" "Twenty-six." Twenty-six? Dang, that sounds so old! Surely that's not me! Nowadays, not so much. I generally feel way older than I actually am. So thirty-one sounds just about right for me.
I hid my birthday from Facebook this year because something was just sitting wrong with me about the literally hundreds of well-wishes from folks who probably don't even think about my existence until FB reminds them that it's my birthday. Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I appreciate the reminder for my FB friends' birthdays and like the chance to send well-wishes, even if I don't really "keep up" with them. But I didn't want that for me this year, for whatever reason, so I hid. And to be honest, I've had a very nice, quiet day. Admittedly, my day started too early when Isaac decided we needed to get up at 5:00 on the one day I was going to get to sleep in until 6:30. But aside from some general fatigue (who's got two thumbs and is working at the Juice Box tonight? This guy! And those thumbs come in handy at the workplace, believe me! Actually, I always wonder if that saying ticks off people who've lost fingers in construction accidents. But I digress) it's been a very nice day. We're not doing "anything special" for my birthday, which is another something I'm fine with. Sunday night, Kim let me go to what will almost certainly be my last Aeros game as a sort of present to myself. Tuesday, Kim took all the time to make not one, but THREE lasagnas (the other two in the freezer for another day), which is my absolute favorite dish. Last night, she and Robbie made a new dessert called a cookie dough cream pie. Oh my gosh, you guys. It's so good. And unbelievably rich. And today? Just sort of a normal day. Talked to a few family members, got a few texts. Even got a text from the future late last night. About to go get Robbie, then go get Kim, then get dropped off at the park for work and get in late tonight.
Oh, and once again Marvel is giving me an awesome movie for my birthday, but I'm not going to get to it until Sunday night.
On the whole, life is good :-)
Looking ahead to Year 31: I have a feeling it's going to be a big one. I can see how year 29 was like the start of a new chapter. In a lot of ways, it was about breaking me down, teaching me. This past year has been about building back up, growing in new ways. And it feels like it's been building toward...well, now. Maybe I'm just used to trilogies, but it feels like this is going to be a big year for my family and I.
And in that vein, I've resurrected my flickr 365 project. Think of it as a sequel. A photo-a-day diary of the opportunities and changes that come our way between now and May 2, 2014. Maybe we'll get to the end, look back, and say, "Yeah...turns out Year 31 was actually pretty boring."
But I doubt that'll be the case.
Anyway, check it out. (It's boring right now, but there's more pictures to come) If nothing else, you'll get to see my cute kids' smiling faces pretty much every day. That's worth thirty seconds of your time daily, right?
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Hold up, wait a minute
Quick post before I get to bed, because 5:00 comes awfully early in the morning and I've got my first booking + ball game day tomorrow.
So, we'll just hit the highlights:
*Saw the movie 42 this weekend. Well, most of it. I had to jet out of the theater at what I assume was the ending in order to get the MMP on time. Pretty good flick. Harrison Ford was phenomenal. I actually thought he was John Goodman for half the film. I know you're thinking Harrison Ford looks nothing like John Goodman, and you're right. But heck, this day and age, nothing surprises me any more. He could have been John Goodman in motion-capture gear with a leaner CGI body. Anyway, it took almost half the film and a couple patented Ford-grins before I remembered that Mr. Ford was supposed to be in this movie, and that he was supposed to be fantastic, and I realized that yes, yes he was.
The rest of the film was...ok. I enjoyed it, it got an emotional response from me. I loved the story, I liked the way they did Jackie's character, and that actor did a good job, but something seemed off about the film as a whole. It felt like a collection of scenes that were from a great movie about Jackie Robinson, yet somehow it didn't come together to form a great movie about Jackie Robinson. It had that awkward sense that it was too long, yet everything went by too quickly. Which is usually just a case of trying to do too much in to little time. Example: Jackie calls a young woman early in the film. By they way they talk, I assume it's his wife. Then he suddenly proposes to her. Oh, okay. It was his girlfriend. Next scene, they're married, and they're discussing their life together, and you realize you really know nothing about either of their characters or their relationship so it doesn't have the punch it ought to have. Another great example: during an early spring training game, Jackie's wife goes to the restroom, not feeling well. Another woman asks how she's doing, and she replies, "I'm sick. Don't know why." The other woman inquires, "When was the last time you had your monthly?" Then there's a great moment where Jackie's wife lets the unspoken implication of the other woman's question sink in.
And then, apparently just to make sure that the men in the audience understand what's going on, the other woman adds "It might be that you're pregnant." Then she leaves.
Next scene: it's next spring training, and they have a baby!
Again, I know they had a lot to cover, but everything flies by so quickly it's hard to get attached to anybody but Jackie and Harrison Goodman. That said, the story of these two men as portrayed in the movie is excellent.
And it seems like all I talk about on here is movies these days.
*****************
In "Measurements and Conversion Tips" news: apparently 15 pounds is approximately equal to one hole on your belt. Good to know!
*****************
I'm teaching an acting class. It's for 4th through 9th grades, which is unusual but has been working surprisingly well. The topic for the class was already selected before I signed on (one week before I started teaching). We're using The Hunger Games as a entrance point into the discussion on tactics in acting. For not having initiated the class or the idea and for not having read the source material until a few days before my first class. I think it's going really well! It's become very character-oriented which has ultimately turned into a discussion of writing. And if you know me at all, you know teaching/mentoring and writing are some of my very favorite things. So teaching/mentoring about writing? Awesome! Unfortunately, this takes away my Saturday mornings, which was when I was supposed to catch up an hour or so of lost sleep during the week. I'll find those hours somewhere, though.
******************
The Aeros are officially moving to Iowa. This'll get its own blog eventually. It was fairly obvious that this was coming. Some saw the writing on the wall back in September. I actually believed until about a month ago that they'd work something out. Eventually, though, it became obvious that The Toyota Center had no interest in keeping the Aeros around. And despite knowing it was coming, I will admit that Thursday was a bitter day. It hurt. And once I start talking about it, I know I'll get pretty ticked off again. Tonight, the Peoria Rivermen played their last game. Fans stayed around 92 minuets after the game was over to applaud their team. My heart goes out to 'em, but also knows we'll be in the exact same boat at some point in the next two months.
Calder Cup Playoffs 2013: One Last Mission. Going to be an extremely bittersweet ride.
*******************
Bit of a downer, eh? Well, I hate to end on an unhappy note, so check this out, courtesy the folks at Real Photobombs!
So, we'll just hit the highlights:
*Saw the movie 42 this weekend. Well, most of it. I had to jet out of the theater at what I assume was the ending in order to get the MMP on time. Pretty good flick. Harrison Ford was phenomenal. I actually thought he was John Goodman for half the film. I know you're thinking Harrison Ford looks nothing like John Goodman, and you're right. But heck, this day and age, nothing surprises me any more. He could have been John Goodman in motion-capture gear with a leaner CGI body. Anyway, it took almost half the film and a couple patented Ford-grins before I remembered that Mr. Ford was supposed to be in this movie, and that he was supposed to be fantastic, and I realized that yes, yes he was.
The rest of the film was...ok. I enjoyed it, it got an emotional response from me. I loved the story, I liked the way they did Jackie's character, and that actor did a good job, but something seemed off about the film as a whole. It felt like a collection of scenes that were from a great movie about Jackie Robinson, yet somehow it didn't come together to form a great movie about Jackie Robinson. It had that awkward sense that it was too long, yet everything went by too quickly. Which is usually just a case of trying to do too much in to little time. Example: Jackie calls a young woman early in the film. By they way they talk, I assume it's his wife. Then he suddenly proposes to her. Oh, okay. It was his girlfriend. Next scene, they're married, and they're discussing their life together, and you realize you really know nothing about either of their characters or their relationship so it doesn't have the punch it ought to have. Another great example: during an early spring training game, Jackie's wife goes to the restroom, not feeling well. Another woman asks how she's doing, and she replies, "I'm sick. Don't know why." The other woman inquires, "When was the last time you had your monthly?" Then there's a great moment where Jackie's wife lets the unspoken implication of the other woman's question sink in.
And then, apparently just to make sure that the men in the audience understand what's going on, the other woman adds "It might be that you're pregnant." Then she leaves.
Next scene: it's next spring training, and they have a baby!
Again, I know they had a lot to cover, but everything flies by so quickly it's hard to get attached to anybody but Jackie and Harrison Goodman. That said, the story of these two men as portrayed in the movie is excellent.
And it seems like all I talk about on here is movies these days.
*****************
In "Measurements and Conversion Tips" news: apparently 15 pounds is approximately equal to one hole on your belt. Good to know!
*****************
I'm teaching an acting class. It's for 4th through 9th grades, which is unusual but has been working surprisingly well. The topic for the class was already selected before I signed on (one week before I started teaching). We're using The Hunger Games as a entrance point into the discussion on tactics in acting. For not having initiated the class or the idea and for not having read the source material until a few days before my first class. I think it's going really well! It's become very character-oriented which has ultimately turned into a discussion of writing. And if you know me at all, you know teaching/mentoring and writing are some of my very favorite things. So teaching/mentoring about writing? Awesome! Unfortunately, this takes away my Saturday mornings, which was when I was supposed to catch up an hour or so of lost sleep during the week. I'll find those hours somewhere, though.
******************
The Aeros are officially moving to Iowa. This'll get its own blog eventually. It was fairly obvious that this was coming. Some saw the writing on the wall back in September. I actually believed until about a month ago that they'd work something out. Eventually, though, it became obvious that The Toyota Center had no interest in keeping the Aeros around. And despite knowing it was coming, I will admit that Thursday was a bitter day. It hurt. And once I start talking about it, I know I'll get pretty ticked off again. Tonight, the Peoria Rivermen played their last game. Fans stayed around 92 minuets after the game was over to applaud their team. My heart goes out to 'em, but also knows we'll be in the exact same boat at some point in the next two months.
Calder Cup Playoffs 2013: One Last Mission. Going to be an extremely bittersweet ride.
*******************
Bit of a downer, eh? Well, I hate to end on an unhappy note, so check this out, courtesy the folks at Real Photobombs!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Come for the Wrath, Stay for the Titans!
I finally watched Wrath of the Titans just now. Checked it out from my local library because I like movies that have people fighting giant monsters. Saw the remake Clash of the Titans at the movie theater and it was fine. Big, loud, dumb, but fun. And yes, I've seen the wildly imaginative original as well back when it was on TNT all the time.
Now I know what you're thinking. I haven't seen that movie, but I want to know pretty much everything that happens without actually watching it.
Gotcha covered, Home Slice.
The movie starts out with some narration that basically says "The last movie happened, and time has passed. Oh, and Perseus' wife died." Which I think only happened because she didn't want to be pegged for the rest of her career as the chick from the Titans movies, so she went to make classy films like Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Anyway, now Perseus lives as a simple fisherman with his son, Helius. It's a good, quiet life, with no more adventures from meddling gods! Until a meddling god shows up. It's his father, Liam Neeson--or rather, Zeus, but really I just kept thinking of him as Liam Neeson throughout the film. Liam says that people don't pray to the gods anymore, so the gods are all losing their power, which means that everything they've done will be undone, which means that Tartarus, the prison of the terrible titans (but basically just Kronos) is slowly coming undone. Liam says that all the demons of Tartarus will invade earth, and that some already have, and that only Perseus can save everyone because...I don't know. But Perseus says "No more monsters! I want to live with my son and be happy!" So Liam Neeson leaves. Also, you learn that Perseus promised his wife as she was dying while delivering their son that Helius would never learn to use a sword. Which makes sense, because Perseus is a warrior, and his woman was a warrior, so they don't want their son to learn to defend himself in a world with monsters because...I don't know.
Down in the Underworld, Liam Neeson meets up with Poseidon and Ares and Hades to discuss how to stop Kronos from escaping. However, Ares betrays them because he thinks Liam Neeson love Perseus more than him, and Hades betrays them because come on, when is Hades not the bad guy? So Poseidon gets smacked around and Liam Neeson gets captured because Kronos needs to absorb what's left of Liam's divine power to finish escaping from Tartarus or something.
Meanwhile, monsters are attacking earth, and what is supposed to be a chimera attacks Perseus' village. I have to say that almost all the monsters in this film are pretty huge disappointments. The shaky camera angles that scream PANIC! PANIC! TERROR! make it really hard to see what's going on in any of the fight sequences, and when you do get a "clear" shot of a monster it either looks horrible or is an indistinguishable mess of fir, teeth, and drool--like the chimera. Anyway, Perseus gets the chimera to set itself on fire and then goes to the temple to pray to Liam Neeson. But Liam doesn't show up, because he's captured, duh. Fortunately Poseidon arrives, having escaped Ares and Hades by...I don't know. He tells Perseus that he has to go find his son Agenor who is with Queen Andromeda and, if Agenor is worthy, to give him Poseidon's trident. Then Poseidon turns into a pillar of salt. Or dies. Or something.
Perseus rides his flying pony (yes, I know it's actually Pegasus) to Queen Andromeda's army, and everybody loves him because he killed the Kraken in the last movie. Andromeda shows up and she's all happy to see him, and apparently they're old friends, and she's leading the army and she's all suited up for war, and you look at her and think "That looks far more like a Jane Bennett than a Queen Andromeda." Then you IMDB it and realize that's because she is Jane Bennett. And yeah, she's a twig. There's no way she could possibly hold a sword if it weren't a prop. So you just call her Jane Bennett the rest of the movie.
Jane Bennett helps Perseus find Agenor, who's a scoundrel and a thief in the prison, and the three of them embark on a ship with some dispensable minor characters to find The Fallen One. Perseus apparently decides that Agenor is worthy before he's even done anything, because he gives him the trident pretty freely, but that's good because that's what helps them find the hidden island where The Fallen One lived after he was...blah blah blah, they meet crazy old Hephaestus, who can never decide how to spell his name. At first, you think Hephaestus is going all Gollum on them, but it turns out he's actually arguing with the creepy golden mechanical owl from the original Clash because...I don't know. He pretty much tells them they're nuts for trying to go after Kronos, but then he sees Jane Bennett and says, "Hey, you remind me of Jane Bennett!"
Actually no, she looks like his wife Aphrodite, so he agrees to help them find the labyrinth, which is apparently a shortcut to the heart of Tartarus because...I don't know. .
(By the way, this is the only time Jane Bennett is remotely useful in the entire film)
Oh, and they fought cyclopes. I forgot to mention that. The cyclopes looked terrible and for some reason they spoke a different language from everybody else. But the one other woman on the adventure (Jane Bennett's friend) prayed to Ares, which was dumb because Perseus clearly told everyone "Don't pray to Ares or he'll show up and kill us." So that's what Ares does to all of the expendable minor characters, proving the tried-and-true Law of Questing that you should never bring more than one woman on a quest. Perseus, Agenor, and Jane Bennett escape into the labyrinth. Boring stuff happens, and Perseus fights an extremely disappointing minotaur, and meanwhile Hades and Liam Neeson are talking, and Liam keeps calling Hades brother and says they should join forces, and Hades says he's scared, and Ares is a jerk to both of them. And after Perseus gets separated from others, and after they decide the map that Hephaestus (the guy who built the frreakin' labyrinth) gave them was worthless, they somehow all find each other right on the doorstep to Tartarus just as Kronos has drained the last of Liam Neeson's power and is almost free. So Ares tries to kill Liam Neeson, and Perseus is all, "Daddy! Noooo!" And Ares knocks him around. And then Hades totally changes his mind and tries to help, so Ares smacks him around. And I don't remember if Jane Bennett gets smacked around here or not; she gets smacked around pretty much any time they're a reason to draw a sword, so they all kind of blend together. She does, however, try to cut Liam Neeson's chains with her sword, but fails miserably. Liam tells Perseus to use his power within, and then Perseus takes the sword and is all, "This is a man's job!" And he hacks the chains down with no trouble at all.
And then they escape. Right to where Andromeda's army is setting up camp.
Liam Neeson is dying, and he tells Perseus he has to use the Ultima Keyblade to beat Kronos. It's made up of the Thunderbolt of Zeus, the Trident of Poseidon, and Hades' Pitchfork, which I think needs a better-sounding name. And they have the pitchfork and the trident, but guess who has the thunderbolt? Ruh-roh, it's Ares! So Perseus prays to Ares to meet him far away from everybody else who could help him. Jane Bennett and Agenor prepare the army to fight Kronos, and the lone cool-looking monster in the film shows up: the Makhai. Apparently, they're not used very often in myth, and in the movie they're basically these two-torsoed death-warriors, fighting back-to-back and constantly spinning, cutting down soldiers in a circle as they plow through the army. It's pretty creative and rad. Jane Bennett even stabs one! Then she gets thrown to the ground and is pretty much done. Agenor lights a bunch of stuff on fire, which doesn't do much. Hades shows up and heals Liam Neeson, and the two of them show up and wave their hands around and blow the makhai to bits.
Meanwhile, Perseus and Ares fight. Ares brought along Helius, and Perseus says "Don't hurt him!" And Ares says "I'm not going to hurt him. I'm going to hurt you. And make him watch." Then he kisses Helius on the head because..I don't know. They fight, and Ares keeps smashing Perseus' head through stone columns and walls, causing Perseus to bleed slightly. (See, now Perseus is fighting for his son, which makes his skull turn to adamantium) Once Perseus is down for the count, Helius picks up a sword, and Ares turns his back on the hero to laugh at the kid. When he turns back around--gasp!--Perseus has moved, and the good guy jumps on the bad guy (who looks like a hairy Ringo Starr, for the record), stabs him, and takes the thunderbolt. Then he puts the three items together to form Voltron.
No, not really, they form the Ultra Spear of Light and Goodness. And off he goes on the flying pony.
Kronos shows up, and it turns out he's just a really big molten lava man. Which is disappointing in ways I can't even begin to explain. Liam Neeson and Hades hold him off for a while as they say the word "Brother" and the end of every single line. "Come on, Brother!" "Let's finish this, Brother!" "The first strike is mine, Brother!" "We're totally brothers, Brother!" (In case you hadn't guessed, all is well in their world again) Then they tick of Kronos, who sends a massive attack at them. Liam Neeson pushes Hades out of the way and somehow absorbs most of the giant wave of black doom. During the distraction, Perseus flies into Kronos' mouth, since apparently Kronos has to swallow the Ultra Spear because...I don't know. Kronos explodes because...I don't know. And everybody cheers. Zeus dies and Hades says "Well, I've used all my power." And then he leaves, because...I don't know.
Back in her tent, Jane Bennett is suddenly planning battle strategies in case there are more attacks, because apparently she missed the Lord of Darkness and Molten Lava blowing up. She also took time to change and get completely beautiful again despite the fact that everybody else in the army is grimy and bloody from the war. Perseus comes in and kisses her because...I don't know.
And Agenor calls himself Helius' uncle because...I don't know.
And Agenor tells Helius his nurse's name is Tiger. And she and Helius both laugh at this because...I don't know.
And then Perseus finds Helius on a hill, and Helius says "I think it'll be great to go home and be a fisherman!" And Perseus basically says, "You know we're never going back there." Because...I DON'T KNOW!!!
So Perseus gives Helius a sword, and Helius says, "It's heavy!" And Perseus says, "Dude, if Jane Bennett can carry one of those things, you can." And Helius says, "Yeah, you're right. I got it."
And then the movie is over.
So, this movie was really bad. And I know you're saying, "Duh. You watched Wrath of the Titans. But even for a bad movie, this was no good. Story was boring, characters didn't make any sense, and the Creature Feature factor was a major disappointment. They kept slamming the "fathers and sons" angle over your head. I mean, if a guy who will admit to enjoying the original Titans remake and the first Ghost Rider movie says your sequel's got problems...well, your sequel's got problems.
So naturally, Clash of the Titans 3 is currently "in development." Though I understand it's not exactly full-steam-ahead at this point, it is unfortunately too far away from "not at all in development." Because I know me. And I know at some point, I will likely be checking Math of the Titan from my local library. Just out of curiosity.
Now I know what you're thinking. I haven't seen that movie, but I want to know pretty much everything that happens without actually watching it.
Gotcha covered, Home Slice.
The movie starts out with some narration that basically says "The last movie happened, and time has passed. Oh, and Perseus' wife died." Which I think only happened because she didn't want to be pegged for the rest of her career as the chick from the Titans movies, so she went to make classy films like Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Anyway, now Perseus lives as a simple fisherman with his son, Helius. It's a good, quiet life, with no more adventures from meddling gods! Until a meddling god shows up. It's his father, Liam Neeson--or rather, Zeus, but really I just kept thinking of him as Liam Neeson throughout the film. Liam says that people don't pray to the gods anymore, so the gods are all losing their power, which means that everything they've done will be undone, which means that Tartarus, the prison of the terrible titans (but basically just Kronos) is slowly coming undone. Liam says that all the demons of Tartarus will invade earth, and that some already have, and that only Perseus can save everyone because...I don't know. But Perseus says "No more monsters! I want to live with my son and be happy!" So Liam Neeson leaves. Also, you learn that Perseus promised his wife as she was dying while delivering their son that Helius would never learn to use a sword. Which makes sense, because Perseus is a warrior, and his woman was a warrior, so they don't want their son to learn to defend himself in a world with monsters because...I don't know.
Down in the Underworld, Liam Neeson meets up with Poseidon and Ares and Hades to discuss how to stop Kronos from escaping. However, Ares betrays them because he thinks Liam Neeson love Perseus more than him, and Hades betrays them because come on, when is Hades not the bad guy? So Poseidon gets smacked around and Liam Neeson gets captured because Kronos needs to absorb what's left of Liam's divine power to finish escaping from Tartarus or something.
Meanwhile, monsters are attacking earth, and what is supposed to be a chimera attacks Perseus' village. I have to say that almost all the monsters in this film are pretty huge disappointments. The shaky camera angles that scream PANIC! PANIC! TERROR! make it really hard to see what's going on in any of the fight sequences, and when you do get a "clear" shot of a monster it either looks horrible or is an indistinguishable mess of fir, teeth, and drool--like the chimera. Anyway, Perseus gets the chimera to set itself on fire and then goes to the temple to pray to Liam Neeson. But Liam doesn't show up, because he's captured, duh. Fortunately Poseidon arrives, having escaped Ares and Hades by...I don't know. He tells Perseus that he has to go find his son Agenor who is with Queen Andromeda and, if Agenor is worthy, to give him Poseidon's trident. Then Poseidon turns into a pillar of salt. Or dies. Or something.
Perseus rides his flying pony (yes, I know it's actually Pegasus) to Queen Andromeda's army, and everybody loves him because he killed the Kraken in the last movie. Andromeda shows up and she's all happy to see him, and apparently they're old friends, and she's leading the army and she's all suited up for war, and you look at her and think "That looks far more like a Jane Bennett than a Queen Andromeda." Then you IMDB it and realize that's because she is Jane Bennett. And yeah, she's a twig. There's no way she could possibly hold a sword if it weren't a prop. So you just call her Jane Bennett the rest of the movie.
Jane Bennett helps Perseus find Agenor, who's a scoundrel and a thief in the prison, and the three of them embark on a ship with some dispensable minor characters to find The Fallen One. Perseus apparently decides that Agenor is worthy before he's even done anything, because he gives him the trident pretty freely, but that's good because that's what helps them find the hidden island where The Fallen One lived after he was...blah blah blah, they meet crazy old Hephaestus, who can never decide how to spell his name. At first, you think Hephaestus is going all Gollum on them, but it turns out he's actually arguing with the creepy golden mechanical owl from the original Clash because...I don't know. He pretty much tells them they're nuts for trying to go after Kronos, but then he sees Jane Bennett and says, "Hey, you remind me of Jane Bennett!"
Actually no, she looks like his wife Aphrodite, so he agrees to help them find the labyrinth, which is apparently a shortcut to the heart of Tartarus because...I don't know. .
(By the way, this is the only time Jane Bennett is remotely useful in the entire film)
Oh, and they fought cyclopes. I forgot to mention that. The cyclopes looked terrible and for some reason they spoke a different language from everybody else. But the one other woman on the adventure (Jane Bennett's friend) prayed to Ares, which was dumb because Perseus clearly told everyone "Don't pray to Ares or he'll show up and kill us." So that's what Ares does to all of the expendable minor characters, proving the tried-and-true Law of Questing that you should never bring more than one woman on a quest. Perseus, Agenor, and Jane Bennett escape into the labyrinth. Boring stuff happens, and Perseus fights an extremely disappointing minotaur, and meanwhile Hades and Liam Neeson are talking, and Liam keeps calling Hades brother and says they should join forces, and Hades says he's scared, and Ares is a jerk to both of them. And after Perseus gets separated from others, and after they decide the map that Hephaestus (the guy who built the frreakin' labyrinth) gave them was worthless, they somehow all find each other right on the doorstep to Tartarus just as Kronos has drained the last of Liam Neeson's power and is almost free. So Ares tries to kill Liam Neeson, and Perseus is all, "Daddy! Noooo!" And Ares knocks him around. And then Hades totally changes his mind and tries to help, so Ares smacks him around. And I don't remember if Jane Bennett gets smacked around here or not; she gets smacked around pretty much any time they're a reason to draw a sword, so they all kind of blend together. She does, however, try to cut Liam Neeson's chains with her sword, but fails miserably. Liam tells Perseus to use his power within, and then Perseus takes the sword and is all, "This is a man's job!" And he hacks the chains down with no trouble at all.
And then they escape. Right to where Andromeda's army is setting up camp.
Liam Neeson is dying, and he tells Perseus he has to use the Ultima Keyblade to beat Kronos. It's made up of the Thunderbolt of Zeus, the Trident of Poseidon, and Hades' Pitchfork, which I think needs a better-sounding name. And they have the pitchfork and the trident, but guess who has the thunderbolt? Ruh-roh, it's Ares! So Perseus prays to Ares to meet him far away from everybody else who could help him. Jane Bennett and Agenor prepare the army to fight Kronos, and the lone cool-looking monster in the film shows up: the Makhai. Apparently, they're not used very often in myth, and in the movie they're basically these two-torsoed death-warriors, fighting back-to-back and constantly spinning, cutting down soldiers in a circle as they plow through the army. It's pretty creative and rad. Jane Bennett even stabs one! Then she gets thrown to the ground and is pretty much done. Agenor lights a bunch of stuff on fire, which doesn't do much. Hades shows up and heals Liam Neeson, and the two of them show up and wave their hands around and blow the makhai to bits.
Meanwhile, Perseus and Ares fight. Ares brought along Helius, and Perseus says "Don't hurt him!" And Ares says "I'm not going to hurt him. I'm going to hurt you. And make him watch." Then he kisses Helius on the head because..I don't know. They fight, and Ares keeps smashing Perseus' head through stone columns and walls, causing Perseus to bleed slightly. (See, now Perseus is fighting for his son, which makes his skull turn to adamantium) Once Perseus is down for the count, Helius picks up a sword, and Ares turns his back on the hero to laugh at the kid. When he turns back around--gasp!--Perseus has moved, and the good guy jumps on the bad guy (who looks like a hairy Ringo Starr, for the record), stabs him, and takes the thunderbolt. Then he puts the three items together to form Voltron.
No, not really, they form the Ultra Spear of Light and Goodness. And off he goes on the flying pony.
Kronos shows up, and it turns out he's just a really big molten lava man. Which is disappointing in ways I can't even begin to explain. Liam Neeson and Hades hold him off for a while as they say the word "Brother" and the end of every single line. "Come on, Brother!" "Let's finish this, Brother!" "The first strike is mine, Brother!" "We're totally brothers, Brother!" (In case you hadn't guessed, all is well in their world again) Then they tick of Kronos, who sends a massive attack at them. Liam Neeson pushes Hades out of the way and somehow absorbs most of the giant wave of black doom. During the distraction, Perseus flies into Kronos' mouth, since apparently Kronos has to swallow the Ultra Spear because...I don't know. Kronos explodes because...I don't know. And everybody cheers. Zeus dies and Hades says "Well, I've used all my power." And then he leaves, because...I don't know.
Back in her tent, Jane Bennett is suddenly planning battle strategies in case there are more attacks, because apparently she missed the Lord of Darkness and Molten Lava blowing up. She also took time to change and get completely beautiful again despite the fact that everybody else in the army is grimy and bloody from the war. Perseus comes in and kisses her because...I don't know.
And Agenor calls himself Helius' uncle because...I don't know.
And Agenor tells Helius his nurse's name is Tiger. And she and Helius both laugh at this because...I don't know.
And then Perseus finds Helius on a hill, and Helius says "I think it'll be great to go home and be a fisherman!" And Perseus basically says, "You know we're never going back there." Because...I DON'T KNOW!!!
So Perseus gives Helius a sword, and Helius says, "It's heavy!" And Perseus says, "Dude, if Jane Bennett can carry one of those things, you can." And Helius says, "Yeah, you're right. I got it."
And then the movie is over.
So, this movie was really bad. And I know you're saying, "Duh. You watched Wrath of the Titans. But even for a bad movie, this was no good. Story was boring, characters didn't make any sense, and the Creature Feature factor was a major disappointment. They kept slamming the "fathers and sons" angle over your head. I mean, if a guy who will admit to enjoying the original Titans remake and the first Ghost Rider movie says your sequel's got problems...well, your sequel's got problems.
So naturally, Clash of the Titans 3 is currently "in development." Though I understand it's not exactly full-steam-ahead at this point, it is unfortunately too far away from "not at all in development." Because I know me. And I know at some point, I will likely be checking Math of the Titan from my local library. Just out of curiosity.
Monday, April 8, 2013
In Which I Actually Say Some Nice Stuff About 3-D
Sunday night, I finally made it to the theaters to catch the newly remastered 3-D edition of Jurassic Park. You might think it's a bit melodramatic to say "finally" after seeing a film on Sunday that was released the previous Friday, BUT after I tried unsuccessfully to see the movie on Friday night and twice on Saturday night, it felt like it was a long time coming.
Like, sixty-five million years coming!
Or, you know, twenty years.
Man, what a phenomenal film. It really is a modern classic. And as much as I hate to say this (and believe me, I hate to say this), the 3-D really makes it look sharper, crisper, and better than ever. See, I generally hate 3-D, but that's because it's usually used as a gimmick, with shrapnel flying at the audience's face, monsters making scary faces up close and personal, or evil giant kings' eyeballs popping out for a cheap gross-out factor. Given the choice, I will almost never pay the extra money to see a film in 3-D if there's a 2-D option.
Of course, there wasn't in this case, and in the end I'm glad I saw it in 3-D because they really utilized the technology well. I actually really love it when filmmakers use 3-D to give the film more depth and definition, to create a more realistic and engaging atmosphere without trying so hard to "jump out" at the audience. I actually expected a lot of that from JP. Lord knows there are plenty of opportunities. However, they never really went for it. They just used the 3-D to make the film look sharp, and it was beautiful.
(Side note: another effective use of 3-D I've seen in theaters: Nightmare Before Christmas. Just gorgeous.)
I ended up going to the movie by myself mostly because, when you've got two kids and four jobs, you just can't go to movies when normal people go to movies very often. Now, I wasn't out super-late...I mean, it was a 10:10 showing. On a Sunday night. But I've been out later :-) Nevertheless, the theater I was in was completely empty. At one point in the movie, and older Japanese couple walked in, headed to the back, talked very loudly to each other for a few minutes, realized they were in the wrong theater (I guess), and then left. I was the only person watching Jurassic Park in 3-D at 10:10 on Sunday night at this little movie theater. And I will admit, my first thought was something along the lines of "Wow, it kinda sucks being here alone. I really hoped the resurrection of one of my all-time favorite flicks would be more of an event." Soon, however, I got past the pity-party and said, "You know, if you'd told eleven-year-old me that one day I would get a private screening of Jurassic Park in 3-D, I'd have thought that was pretty stinkin' awesome." So I just went with that for the rest of the night :-)
As for the film itself, I don't know what to say about it. It's great. I picked up on a few plot points that are maybe just a bit sketchy, of course. But I also found a lot of subtle nuances that I missed as a pre-teen that made the whole thing a lot more solid. The critic in me also found some spots where shots were cut together or scenes edited a bit abruptly, but I can't tell if that was somewhat shoddy editing or if we just cut our films a little different in the early '90s.
Man, it is so hard to think of this as an early-90's film. It doesn't look it, it doesn't feel it, and while the effects have, in some areas, taken a backseat to the WETA's of today, I think in most places they actually hold up quite well.
Hey, what was Malcolm even doing on the island?
LAWYERS: We are facing a $20 million lawsuit because of that worker who was eaten by Raptors. We demand to be satisfied!
HAMMOND: It's all good. This mathematician has officially endorsed the park.
MALCOLM: Chaotician, John.
HAMMOND: Whatever.
LAWYERS: We are now satisfied!
Anyway, watching this movie again, I got a little bit sad that there'll never really be another movie like it. It was so groundbreaking, so earth-shattering, that everybody wanted a piece of the action. It had incredible creatures unlike anything we'd seen before as moviegoers. And they were dinosaurs! This movie brought dinosaurs to life! I will say this movie probably changed the way that boys my age (all of us twenty-and-thirty-somethings now) thought about movies. This movie blew us away. It was like a literal representation of our dreams and the wildest corners of our imaginations projected on a larger-than-life screen. We were enthralled, captivated, utterly and helplessly swept away in the adventure. You can look back at the standards from your childhood--favorite movies, favorites TV shows, favorite songs, whatever--and there's always a nostalgia for them. But JP is a movie that grown men still get stoked about, twenty years after seeing it in the theater.
I guess this was sort of like my generation's Star Wars. Minus the wildly-successful sequels, of course.
And just like Star Wars, this is a movie that'll probably only be truly appreciated by those of us who lived in the era that produced it. In another five years or so, Robbie will watch this movie with me, and yeah, he'll like it. But he'll have seen so many special-effects-laden adventure flicks by that point that watching a robotic T-Rex head rip tires off an overturned jeep isn't going to be the same for him that it was for me. Hopefully, as he grows older, he'll start to appreciate the clever writing, the storytelling, the ethical debates, the score, maybe even the movie's place in film history, but it'll probably never blow him away. My generation still loves Star Wars, and some even obsess over it, but quite honestly a lot of the obsession in that instance has come from the post-film expansion of the universe. Kids today still love it, but they love it more for the Clone Wars TV series than, say, the Ewoks or the Death Star.
Now, it sounds awfully curmudgeonly to say something like "They just don't make 'em like that anymore," but...they really don't. We rely so heavily on the CGI effects now. When we have monsters eat people, we have to see a lot more blood these days. And the language in JP is remarkably tame compared to many PG-13 film you'd see today. JP didn't just look good, but it was smart. And while there are still films that are smart, clever, and exciting, and there always will be, for thousands of men (and women too, I'm sure, but I can't speak for that side of the table), there'll never be another Jurassic Park.
Like, sixty-five million years coming!
Or, you know, twenty years.
Man, what a phenomenal film. It really is a modern classic. And as much as I hate to say this (and believe me, I hate to say this), the 3-D really makes it look sharper, crisper, and better than ever. See, I generally hate 3-D, but that's because it's usually used as a gimmick, with shrapnel flying at the audience's face, monsters making scary faces up close and personal, or evil giant kings' eyeballs popping out for a cheap gross-out factor. Given the choice, I will almost never pay the extra money to see a film in 3-D if there's a 2-D option.
Of course, there wasn't in this case, and in the end I'm glad I saw it in 3-D because they really utilized the technology well. I actually really love it when filmmakers use 3-D to give the film more depth and definition, to create a more realistic and engaging atmosphere without trying so hard to "jump out" at the audience. I actually expected a lot of that from JP. Lord knows there are plenty of opportunities. However, they never really went for it. They just used the 3-D to make the film look sharp, and it was beautiful.
(Side note: another effective use of 3-D I've seen in theaters: Nightmare Before Christmas. Just gorgeous.)
I ended up going to the movie by myself mostly because, when you've got two kids and four jobs, you just can't go to movies when normal people go to movies very often. Now, I wasn't out super-late...I mean, it was a 10:10 showing. On a Sunday night. But I've been out later :-) Nevertheless, the theater I was in was completely empty. At one point in the movie, and older Japanese couple walked in, headed to the back, talked very loudly to each other for a few minutes, realized they were in the wrong theater (I guess), and then left. I was the only person watching Jurassic Park in 3-D at 10:10 on Sunday night at this little movie theater. And I will admit, my first thought was something along the lines of "Wow, it kinda sucks being here alone. I really hoped the resurrection of one of my all-time favorite flicks would be more of an event." Soon, however, I got past the pity-party and said, "You know, if you'd told eleven-year-old me that one day I would get a private screening of Jurassic Park in 3-D, I'd have thought that was pretty stinkin' awesome." So I just went with that for the rest of the night :-)
As for the film itself, I don't know what to say about it. It's great. I picked up on a few plot points that are maybe just a bit sketchy, of course. But I also found a lot of subtle nuances that I missed as a pre-teen that made the whole thing a lot more solid. The critic in me also found some spots where shots were cut together or scenes edited a bit abruptly, but I can't tell if that was somewhat shoddy editing or if we just cut our films a little different in the early '90s.
Man, it is so hard to think of this as an early-90's film. It doesn't look it, it doesn't feel it, and while the effects have, in some areas, taken a backseat to the WETA's of today, I think in most places they actually hold up quite well.
Hey, what was Malcolm even doing on the island?
LAWYERS: We are facing a $20 million lawsuit because of that worker who was eaten by Raptors. We demand to be satisfied!
HAMMOND: It's all good. This mathematician has officially endorsed the park.
MALCOLM: Chaotician, John.
HAMMOND: Whatever.
LAWYERS: We are now satisfied!
Anyway, watching this movie again, I got a little bit sad that there'll never really be another movie like it. It was so groundbreaking, so earth-shattering, that everybody wanted a piece of the action. It had incredible creatures unlike anything we'd seen before as moviegoers. And they were dinosaurs! This movie brought dinosaurs to life! I will say this movie probably changed the way that boys my age (all of us twenty-and-thirty-somethings now) thought about movies. This movie blew us away. It was like a literal representation of our dreams and the wildest corners of our imaginations projected on a larger-than-life screen. We were enthralled, captivated, utterly and helplessly swept away in the adventure. You can look back at the standards from your childhood--favorite movies, favorites TV shows, favorite songs, whatever--and there's always a nostalgia for them. But JP is a movie that grown men still get stoked about, twenty years after seeing it in the theater.
I guess this was sort of like my generation's Star Wars. Minus the wildly-successful sequels, of course.
And just like Star Wars, this is a movie that'll probably only be truly appreciated by those of us who lived in the era that produced it. In another five years or so, Robbie will watch this movie with me, and yeah, he'll like it. But he'll have seen so many special-effects-laden adventure flicks by that point that watching a robotic T-Rex head rip tires off an overturned jeep isn't going to be the same for him that it was for me. Hopefully, as he grows older, he'll start to appreciate the clever writing, the storytelling, the ethical debates, the score, maybe even the movie's place in film history, but it'll probably never blow him away. My generation still loves Star Wars, and some even obsess over it, but quite honestly a lot of the obsession in that instance has come from the post-film expansion of the universe. Kids today still love it, but they love it more for the Clone Wars TV series than, say, the Ewoks or the Death Star.
Now, it sounds awfully curmudgeonly to say something like "They just don't make 'em like that anymore," but...they really don't. We rely so heavily on the CGI effects now. When we have monsters eat people, we have to see a lot more blood these days. And the language in JP is remarkably tame compared to many PG-13 film you'd see today. JP didn't just look good, but it was smart. And while there are still films that are smart, clever, and exciting, and there always will be, for thousands of men (and women too, I'm sure, but I can't speak for that side of the table), there'll never be another Jurassic Park.
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