Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Baseball is gut *Updated 2/27*

No really, read this one.

I've been listening to spring training games on the radio the past couple of days and am getting kind of stoked for baseball season to get here.  That's got baseball on my mind quite a bit lately, so I thought it would be fun to write a blog in which I make a baseball team out of my loyal FOMW readers!  The problem is, I don't have a ton of regular readers any more on account of my not doing any regular blogging for a very long time.  So to be eligible for the team, you have to be someone that I know (or at least suspect) still follows (or has followed) this blog recently.  That means anybody who's mentioned something I wrote in the blog in conversation, left a comment, or +1'd a post (whatever the heck that is) in the past, oh, four months or so.  Since whenever I started doing the interview thing, whenever that was.

Now, if you're left off the team, and you still follow long, it just means I didn't realize you were still out there.  Drop me a comment and I'll find a spot for you.

Okay, here's the batting lineup of the official FOMW baseball team, mostly likely called The Panthers.  Because Panthers are Fierce.

Darn right.

Right.  (I'm the manager, because it's my blog.  But I'm a playing manager, because we don't have enough players for a 25-man roster)

Leadoff hitter: Jason B, RF.  I didn't know where to put you in the field, but I decided we needed your cannon of an arm to throw out baserunners.  And you're also hitting leadoff because, of the FOMW family, I think you may be the only one who has a prayer of getting on base with regularity.

#2 hitter: Me, CF. I love tracking down fly balls.  I'm actually not bad at it, either, though I probably don't have the jump that I used to.  I figure if I can hit about .260 with 15-20 home runs, I'm having a pretty awesome season.  Plus, if the year's half over and I'm clearly not getting it done at the plate, I'm not afraid to bunt Jason home (after he steals 2nd and 3rd).

#3 hitter: Sherri M., LF.  We're gonna have to have girls on this team, and I don't want to throw 'em all at the bottom of the order because that sounds sexist.  Plus, I think Sherri could deliver a little pop at the plate, on account of she keeps a baseball bat in her room, so hopefully she's picked up some slugging power by osmosis.

Cleanup hitter: Dave M, 1st base.  I know you've got experience playing the position.  Also, I don't care what your ending batting average is, but we're gonna need you to pop out about 40-50 home runs.

#5 hitter: Brad B., C.  I think my brother-in-law could make a good catcher.  He's very quick-witted and analytical, and I think he could find ways to mess with opposing hitters' heads.

#6 hitter: Travis H., 3B.  The hot corner!  Need someone who can make the throw from third to first.  Also expecting you to provide a bit of offensive stability for the bottom half of the order.

#7 hitter: Hannah S., 2B.  I put you at second because virtually every throw you make will only have to go to the shortstop covering 2nd or the 1st baseman (Dave).  That will better suit your skill set than a position where you'd have to make a bunch of longer throws.  Also, you're small, so you'll have a tiny strike zone, so hopefully you'll get a lot of BB's.

#8 hitter: Vacant, SS.  Of course, if we don't find a short stop, Hannah will have to play 2nd and short at the same time.  But she's an stage manager, so she'll be fairly well-prepared for this.  (I would  put my wife in this spot, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to play.  Plus, someone has to watch the boys while I'm managing and playing center field)

#9 hitter: Abby B, SP.  Abby, you're the pitcher because you're a lefty.  And everybody is always looking for left-handed pitcher.  Also, you're the only pitcher, so you'll have to start every game.  And there are no relievers. So, I hope you're ready to throw a LOT of pitches.

Holly  has chimed in, which is great!  Unfortunately for our baseball team, she is  With Child right now, so she'll be inactive for about half the season.  Once her maternity leave is over, though, she'll split time with Abby on the mound.    This woman has deceivingly high levels of arm strength.  (Or at least she did seven or so years ago)  Seriously.  If you ever arm-wrestled this girl back in her prime, you found yourself thinking, "Where is all this upper-body strength coming from?"  I expect a fastball somewhere in the high 80's.  Plus, she's, like, four-foot-eleven, so she'll be the first pitcher in history who's slider has to move up to hit the strike zone. 

Good pickup, good pickup. 


So there you have it!  The FOMW baseball team!  I think we'd be awesome.

Obviously, my work on this project led me to only one natural conclusion: I need more loyal readers so I can build a better pretend baseball team.  (Yes, this thought actually entered my head)  So how can I get more readers?

By blogging more.  Duh.

So what is all this, really?  This is my way of saying hey, I'm going to start blogging more!  I'm actually committed to regular blogging, which hasn't been the case since my 2nd attempt at a 365 blog.  I'm thinking of  a loose M-W-F format with the occasional Saturday Surprise.  Because alliterations are cool.  Also because alliterations are cool: Feature Fridays!  This will begin this Friday with a new Top 7.  I'll also keep the interviewer around, because I have fun with those. Now, you have to understand that this means I'll be posting a lot of stuff you probably don't care about, because that's how regular blogging works.  That's how the 365's worked, and that's probably how this'll work.  "I have nothing valuable to say, BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO BLOG TODAY!"  But hopefully, on the whole, you'll see both quantity AND quality improve.

And maybe, just maybe, we'll find our shortstop. And the rest of our starting rotation.  And a couple of relievers.

Man, our baseball team sucks right now.