Disclaimer: I am about to speak of something I have little to no firsthand experience of. Therefore, I may be wholly in the wrong and would be willing to accept any first-hand or empiric correction that may result from my thoughts on the following issue.
So, there's this thing that seems to happen quite a bit in movies. (Not good movies, mind you, just the kind that I watch, which may be your problem right there) The situation is usually the same: there is a man standing behind a woman, he may have a gun to her head, he may not, but for some reason or another she is totally helpless. Then, in a flash of sheer martial-arts prowess, she kicks him squarely in the face over her own shoulder, knocking the guy away, down, or out!
WOW! What a trick!!!
I accept that women can do this, because they are flexible beings. I accept that specially-trained martial arts women (spies, assassins, kindergarten teachers) could probably aim that foot accurately enough to hit the guy in the face without really seeing where his head is at that moment, because they're specially trained. However, I struggle to wrap my mind around this one concept:
How in the world does her foot, at this point positioned slightly above her collarbone, pass through her body to travel the distance necessary to hit the face of the guy who is behind her???
Now, I know, I know, generally the captor is leaned forward slightly, laughing in the woman's ear or something, and it's entirely plausible that the toe of her shoe could actually make contact with the guy's face and possible do some damage. This, however, leads me to point B:
How in the heck does that bit of foot have enough momentum to knock the larger guy backwards without impacting the balance of the woman (who is now standing on one foot) ONE BIT?!? It seems she'd have to take more impact from her own knee than Evil Guy is taking from the tip of her shoe. Seems far more likely to me that she could put out his eye with her toe than knock him back.
I mean, think of how much momentum it would take for a kick to do that amount of damage in the first place. Got it? Okay, now take away any solid base one would generally require to deliver a forceful blow of any kind and replace it with a center of gravity that is constantly shifting (part of being jostled around by Evil Guy). Now, you have got an opposing force behind you that you could use to stabilize yourself, but in this instance the source of that opposition is also the target, so it's really not much help. Finally, you have to get enough momentum to get one leg to go from standing still to over your head--not a normal maneuver for any leg, no matter how trained--in less than a second and still have enough force behind it to knock Evil Guy completely off of you (because the guy always releases the captive woman immediately following the impact; she just gets him THAT HARD!).
All right? Now, I've already confessed my inadequacy to comment on martial arts, but DANG! That doesn't seem like it should be POSSIBLE! I really wish that, just once, we'd get a profile view of that maneuver, because I'm really thinking that Evil Guy is in cahoots with Seemingly-Captured-She-Ra to make that move work. Somebody ought to look into Evil Guy's file and see if there's a history of double-agent work or other general backstabbing.
Come to think of it, I think most movie kicks are a tad dubious. In a movie, if you get kicked, you're out for a good thirty seconds. I don't know if that's really true. I'm sure a well-placed kick by a master would not only floor a man, but also knock him out. But a lot of things gotta go right for that to work, you know? In movies, generally a guy will run full-force into another guy's foot--not the heel, the hard part, and not straight-on, where the kicker would have a firm foundation to kick from, but usually from the side, or behind, so they catch the broad side of it--and the momentum swinging on one leg is enough to completely counter and overwhelm the momentum of an entire body heading full force in the opposite direction.
You know what, I obviously just need to learn how to kick people. I think that's the answer to this particular quandary, because there is just a whole lot of physics going on that I simply do not understand.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Day Forty-Seven: Closing Night
First of all, I really intended not to write about Hero Squad tonight. However, this is my blog, and today was a pretty major milestone and discovery, and if I'm making a daily record of anything for the course of this past year, this really ought to be on it.
We had scheduled three performances per Friday for this particular run. We normally schedule two (one at 9:30 a.m. and one at 11:30 a.m.) and we frequently have trouble selling the early show, so it more often than not ends up getting canceled. In addition, we added Friday nights to this run, because the church that hosts our children's theater said that we couldn't be in there two Saturdays during the run, canceling four of our most profitable performance times, so we added Fridays to make it up.
With that said, due to the aforementioned fact that the 9:30 shows generally get canceled, this was the only week where we actually HAD three performances on our three-performance day. It also happened to be the last day of the run. That, my friends, is how a show like this one should go out.
We dragged a little bit through the first half of the first show, but picked it up quite nicely and finished strong with a house that was close to 80% full. That was nice, but nicer was my boss (direct supervisor, not supreme supervisor) finally came to see the show and really, really enjoyed it. Also got to speak with a woman and her two daughters who've been coming for three years and said that this was by far their favorite. And while it's true that somebody says that about every show, it's still an encouraging thing to hear.
Our second show was for a smaller crowd (though some twenty people larger than we had expected it to be) that was boisterous and enthusiastic throughout. A lot of our smaller crowds have also been our most vocal all throughout the run of the show; I'm not sure why that is but it's made it a pleasure to play for fewer people. (And, of course, it always helps when you have friends in the crowd, and we did!)
Our evening performance was near perfect. We were completely sold out and it was entirely families (instead of school groups), which give a broader range of experiences to the show--and to this particular script, the only way the audience can fully enjoy it is if the younger ones are there to help along their parents at points, and the parents are around to help along the younger ones, if that makes any sense to you. (And if you saw the show, it does)
Now, before the show, there were lots of sentiments being shared about who would miss the show, and who could keep on doing it for another few weeks at least, and who was kinda sad, etc. And actors were getting sentimental with me, which was absolutely fine and justified. This has been quite the journey for me, as I've been preparing this production (both the script and myself as an artist) for three full years now, and the payoff has been as grand as I could have hoped. I, however, really was able to stave off the mushy stuff pretty well. One last show, then we pack her up. Job well done was pretty much my mindset throughout the evening. (And it held up pretty well, too, until my danged stage manager said something over the phone as I was driving home that finally got me to start to tear up. So close!)
All that to prep for the show. This was easily one of the top three audiences in terms of appreciation. They applauded after literally every single scene. If I had gone all Broadway and milked the curtain call, we probably could have gotten a standing ovation from them, but I detest milking curtain calls, so it was over too quickly. Afterward, the crowd milled for a very long time, the line to greet the actors barely moving, people requesting pictures with their favorite heroes and villains, folks finding me and complementing the script and the direction (but mostly the dolphins). It's kinda like the way Billy Chapel goes out in the movie For Love of the Game. You really couldn't have asked for it any better.
And then we struck, and then we loaded all the costumes to our costume shop, and then Abby almost killed Hannah, and then we split up and went home.
Anyway, here's what I learned today:
This entire Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers experience has been amazing for me. From the early production meetings to tonite, I've loved every moment of it, even most of the frustrating ones. I can look back now and see God's timing in putting this production together for this time, for this group of people. I can see the things that I've learned just in the past three years that have equipped me to handle what this show became. I understand not only how ill-prepared both I and the script were for production back when I first wrote it, but also how this ensemble could only have come together in this slot for this season. And I'm grateful for every rewrite, every revision, every learning experience, every rehearsal, everything that got us to where we ended up. The amount of work that went into this production was massive, but the payoff was worth it.
And I realized how badly I want to do it again.
Not just direct again, because I knew I wanted that long before rehearsals started, and not just directing a good show again, because, well, duh. But when I do this again, I want the ability to look back and realize I and everyone else threw everything we could into something, and to see our work justified by our product. I want to build a show from zero, whether it's a script I write or not, and lay a foundation, and collaborate with other enthusiastic, artistic minds, all of whom refuse to settle for less than the best possible outcome, and then I want to get to the end of it and admire the house we built. I loved this show, but I love that this show is over, because now I can really step back and objectively do all of that. And THAT is what I want more of.
Whatever the next project is, I want so very badly to get to work on it.
With that said, I started a new script tonight. I doubt it will be as good a script as Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers, at least I don't expect it to be. But I will pour into it until it is everything that I can possibly make it. And I will be satisfied with it, and probably proud of it.
But make no mistake. When I write, or when I direct, what I really want, what I'm really looking for, is this. And this comes so rarely in theatre that I fully intend to soak up every waking moment of it that I can before heading off to sleep tonight.
P.S. Haven't re-read or edited any of this, and don't plan to, so some of it may be incoherent. Hm...sorry about that! My blog, not yours! ;-)
We had scheduled three performances per Friday for this particular run. We normally schedule two (one at 9:30 a.m. and one at 11:30 a.m.) and we frequently have trouble selling the early show, so it more often than not ends up getting canceled. In addition, we added Friday nights to this run, because the church that hosts our children's theater said that we couldn't be in there two Saturdays during the run, canceling four of our most profitable performance times, so we added Fridays to make it up.
With that said, due to the aforementioned fact that the 9:30 shows generally get canceled, this was the only week where we actually HAD three performances on our three-performance day. It also happened to be the last day of the run. That, my friends, is how a show like this one should go out.
We dragged a little bit through the first half of the first show, but picked it up quite nicely and finished strong with a house that was close to 80% full. That was nice, but nicer was my boss (direct supervisor, not supreme supervisor) finally came to see the show and really, really enjoyed it. Also got to speak with a woman and her two daughters who've been coming for three years and said that this was by far their favorite. And while it's true that somebody says that about every show, it's still an encouraging thing to hear.
Our second show was for a smaller crowd (though some twenty people larger than we had expected it to be) that was boisterous and enthusiastic throughout. A lot of our smaller crowds have also been our most vocal all throughout the run of the show; I'm not sure why that is but it's made it a pleasure to play for fewer people. (And, of course, it always helps when you have friends in the crowd, and we did!)
Our evening performance was near perfect. We were completely sold out and it was entirely families (instead of school groups), which give a broader range of experiences to the show--and to this particular script, the only way the audience can fully enjoy it is if the younger ones are there to help along their parents at points, and the parents are around to help along the younger ones, if that makes any sense to you. (And if you saw the show, it does)
Now, before the show, there were lots of sentiments being shared about who would miss the show, and who could keep on doing it for another few weeks at least, and who was kinda sad, etc. And actors were getting sentimental with me, which was absolutely fine and justified. This has been quite the journey for me, as I've been preparing this production (both the script and myself as an artist) for three full years now, and the payoff has been as grand as I could have hoped. I, however, really was able to stave off the mushy stuff pretty well. One last show, then we pack her up. Job well done was pretty much my mindset throughout the evening. (And it held up pretty well, too, until my danged stage manager said something over the phone as I was driving home that finally got me to start to tear up. So close!)
All that to prep for the show. This was easily one of the top three audiences in terms of appreciation. They applauded after literally every single scene. If I had gone all Broadway and milked the curtain call, we probably could have gotten a standing ovation from them, but I detest milking curtain calls, so it was over too quickly. Afterward, the crowd milled for a very long time, the line to greet the actors barely moving, people requesting pictures with their favorite heroes and villains, folks finding me and complementing the script and the direction (but mostly the dolphins). It's kinda like the way Billy Chapel goes out in the movie For Love of the Game. You really couldn't have asked for it any better.
And then we struck, and then we loaded all the costumes to our costume shop, and then Abby almost killed Hannah, and then we split up and went home.
Anyway, here's what I learned today:
This entire Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers experience has been amazing for me. From the early production meetings to tonite, I've loved every moment of it, even most of the frustrating ones. I can look back now and see God's timing in putting this production together for this time, for this group of people. I can see the things that I've learned just in the past three years that have equipped me to handle what this show became. I understand not only how ill-prepared both I and the script were for production back when I first wrote it, but also how this ensemble could only have come together in this slot for this season. And I'm grateful for every rewrite, every revision, every learning experience, every rehearsal, everything that got us to where we ended up. The amount of work that went into this production was massive, but the payoff was worth it.
And I realized how badly I want to do it again.
Not just direct again, because I knew I wanted that long before rehearsals started, and not just directing a good show again, because, well, duh. But when I do this again, I want the ability to look back and realize I and everyone else threw everything we could into something, and to see our work justified by our product. I want to build a show from zero, whether it's a script I write or not, and lay a foundation, and collaborate with other enthusiastic, artistic minds, all of whom refuse to settle for less than the best possible outcome, and then I want to get to the end of it and admire the house we built. I loved this show, but I love that this show is over, because now I can really step back and objectively do all of that. And THAT is what I want more of.
Whatever the next project is, I want so very badly to get to work on it.
With that said, I started a new script tonight. I doubt it will be as good a script as Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers, at least I don't expect it to be. But I will pour into it until it is everything that I can possibly make it. And I will be satisfied with it, and probably proud of it.
But make no mistake. When I write, or when I direct, what I really want, what I'm really looking for, is this. And this comes so rarely in theatre that I fully intend to soak up every waking moment of it that I can before heading off to sleep tonight.
P.S. Haven't re-read or edited any of this, and don't plan to, so some of it may be incoherent. Hm...sorry about that! My blog, not yours! ;-)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Day Forty-Six: Phew
I'm trying to find a way to say that this day really beat me down, but I can't find the right words for it.
This is why I don't write more "downer" blogs; I'm really bad at putting my own struggles into words.
I seem to have this trouble when I'm directing, too. I think in pictures and images, I think, and that doesn't translate well when communicating to others. Especially with written words.
I need to read more. I need to work on my vocabulary. I used to be really smart. Those were good times, man.
Good times.
Anywho, I don't really want anybody to worry about me, because there's really no reason to worry. Not yet, anyway. There may very well be soon, and I will be sure to let you know when and if that time comes.
For now, please just keep me and my workplace in your prayers. These are tough times, and in ways we haven't made them any easier for ourselves.
I will say, however, that these are the days for which God gave us families, friends, junk food, lolcats, and Louie.
Yes, in that order.
Side note: Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers closes tomorrow, so if I'm drawing a blank and blogging time tomorrow I may offer a retrospective. (But maybe not. You may be sick of hearing about that show by now. Well, as I said, it'll all be over tomorrow ;-) )
This is why I don't write more "downer" blogs; I'm really bad at putting my own struggles into words.
I seem to have this trouble when I'm directing, too. I think in pictures and images, I think, and that doesn't translate well when communicating to others. Especially with written words.
I need to read more. I need to work on my vocabulary. I used to be really smart. Those were good times, man.
Good times.
Anywho, I don't really want anybody to worry about me, because there's really no reason to worry. Not yet, anyway. There may very well be soon, and I will be sure to let you know when and if that time comes.
For now, please just keep me and my workplace in your prayers. These are tough times, and in ways we haven't made them any easier for ourselves.
I will say, however, that these are the days for which God gave us families, friends, junk food, lolcats, and Louie.
Yes, in that order.
Side note: Hero Squad vs. the Princess Snatchers closes tomorrow, so if I'm drawing a blank and blogging time tomorrow I may offer a retrospective. (But maybe not. You may be sick of hearing about that show by now. Well, as I said, it'll all be over tomorrow ;-) )
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Day Forty-Five: The most satisfying "The end" I've ever written...
It's done.
Clocking in at three-hundred eleven pages, eighty-thousand, four-hundred thirty words.
A novel.
I don't understand how people can write 30+ of these in their lifetimes.
Celebrate with me, won't you?
Clocking in at three-hundred eleven pages, eighty-thousand, four-hundred thirty words.
A novel.
I don't understand how people can write 30+ of these in their lifetimes.
Celebrate with me, won't you?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Day Forty-Four: I got nothing but links for ya
A couple of links for ya.
First up: if you still don't think the upcoming Street Fighter movie is going to suck, I've got three words for you: Click. These. Links. And be converted.
I've seen too many Godzilla movies in my life not to be alarmed by this.
Ay, me. I've got this old house and this cannon and I can't for the life of me figure out what the coolest thing I could possibly do with them might be...
Courtesy Greg Wyshynski: nothing brings out a man's wild side like the color pink. (Editor's warning: this link consists entirely of hockey fighting, which may or may not include a backup goaltender storming onto the ice from the dressing room to take part. Also: redneck fans having a stompin' good time with all the hootenanny going on)
I'm really trying to be excited about your upcoming Broadway musical, Spidey. I promise you I'm trying! But..but...what does this title actually MEAN??
Finally, I noticed a lot of impatient, unhappy drivers on the road both this morning and as I walked to Whataburger for lunch. I couldn't help but feel that many of these people severely needed some Louie in their lives.
First up: if you still don't think the upcoming Street Fighter movie is going to suck, I've got three words for you: Click. These. Links. And be converted.
I've seen too many Godzilla movies in my life not to be alarmed by this.
Ay, me. I've got this old house and this cannon and I can't for the life of me figure out what the coolest thing I could possibly do with them might be...
Courtesy Greg Wyshynski: nothing brings out a man's wild side like the color pink. (Editor's warning: this link consists entirely of hockey fighting, which may or may not include a backup goaltender storming onto the ice from the dressing room to take part. Also: redneck fans having a stompin' good time with all the hootenanny going on)
I'm really trying to be excited about your upcoming Broadway musical, Spidey. I promise you I'm trying! But..but...what does this title actually MEAN??
Finally, I noticed a lot of impatient, unhappy drivers on the road both this morning and as I walked to Whataburger for lunch. I couldn't help but feel that many of these people severely needed some Louie in their lives.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Day Forty-Three: The economy
Now things have gone too far.
I certainly hope the President touches on this in the State of the Union address!
I certainly hope the President touches on this in the State of the Union address!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Day Forty-Two: Of Life, the Universe, and Everything
This post actually has nothing to do with the question of life, the universe, and everything. However, I can't imagine what else you would title Day Forty-Two.
Be prepared for some shorties this week, my young blogling. This week is all about finishing my wife's Christmas present (since, you know, it's after Valentines Day and all). I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this on here before, but just to catch everybody up: I wrote a novel for my wife for Christmas. At least, I wrote roughly 80% of a novel...it didn't quite get finished. Then, as soon as the new year hit, writing got thrown on the back burner by more pressing assignments. Now, however, I believe the time has come to wrap this puppy up. I'm actually not that far from the end anymore, I just have never had a firm deadline to be finished by so I haven't been at it like I had been before Christmas.
Okay, deadline set: Next Saturday by midnight.
So forgive me if I appear a bit terse for the next few days. I gots me some stuff to gets done!
Be prepared for some shorties this week, my young blogling. This week is all about finishing my wife's Christmas present (since, you know, it's after Valentines Day and all). I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this on here before, but just to catch everybody up: I wrote a novel for my wife for Christmas. At least, I wrote roughly 80% of a novel...it didn't quite get finished. Then, as soon as the new year hit, writing got thrown on the back burner by more pressing assignments. Now, however, I believe the time has come to wrap this puppy up. I'm actually not that far from the end anymore, I just have never had a firm deadline to be finished by so I haven't been at it like I had been before Christmas.
Okay, deadline set: Next Saturday by midnight.
So forgive me if I appear a bit terse for the next few days. I gots me some stuff to gets done!
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