Friday, August 12, 2011

v2, d395: The Musical!

AT RISE: JOSH, HAYDEN, HOWARD, and OTHER CHILDREN are assembled on stage, waiting for rehearsal to begin.  SCOOTER enters, carrying a clipboard and dialing on a cell phone. 

JOSH: Hey, Scooter, shouldn’t we be getting started with rehearsal?
SCOOTER: Sorry guys.  We’ve got to wait until everybody’s here.  We’ll get started as soon as we can.  (She exits, talking into the phone as she goes)  Hello?  Is she almost here?  Well we’re fifteen minutes late!
HAYDEN: Who are we waiting for?  I thought everybody was already here. 
(KAREN  runs onstage, excited)
BILL: What’s wrong, Karen? 
ASHLEY: Yeah, what is it? 
KAREN: You guys will never guess what I just heard!  You know who Destiny Starlight is, right?
HOWARD: That girl who has, like, six of her own shows on the Disney Channel?
MELLIE: I have all of her CD’s! 
CINDY: I love her movie!
KAREN: Well, it turns out her great aunt’s second cousin’s nephew’s brother-in-law’s foster father’s sister’s favorite cousin goes to our church! 
HAYDEN: Okay.  But what does that have to do with Music Camp rehearsal?
KAREN: I just heard that she’s going to show up to be in our play!
(KIDS react with general excitement.  SCOOTER re-enters)
HAYDEN: Scooter!  Is it true that Destiny Starlight is really going to be in our Music Camp play???
SCOOTER: It was supposed to be a surprise….
(KIDS give up a cheer and high-five one another)
SCOOTER: Of course, if she doesn’t show up soon we’ll just have to start without her…
(DESTINY arrives in style, adorned in any way you’d expect to find a Hollywood teen pop sensation)
DESTINY: Hello, beautiful people!
(KIDS—especially the girls—crowd around her.  A couple of the kids may scream)
A KID: I can’t believe it!  It’s really her!
ANOTHER KID: Destiny Starlight!  It’s Destiny Starlight!
ANOTHER KID: Can I have your autograph? 
ANOTHER KID: Will you be my friend?
ANOTHER KID: Is Destiny your real name?
DESTINY: It’s called a stage name.
HOWARD: What’s a stage name?
DESTINY: You see, when you’re someone like me, the name your parents give you isn’t enough to capture all the magic that makes you a star.  So you have to pick out a new name that fits your personality.
SCOOTER: Hi, Destiny, my name is Scooter, and I’m in charge of our rehearsals…
DESTINY: Right, right.  Sorry I was late, but I just finished recording my voice for my newest movie.  It’s a cartoon, I play a unicorn princess.  Oh trust me, you’ll hear about it. 
SCOOTER: We really need to get started if we can…
DESTINY: I know, I know.  What’s the show about again?
KAREN: Every year, we do a concert of the music we learned in Bible school for our church!
DESTINY: Isn’t that cute?  All right, start the first song.
SCOOTER: But we should probably teach you the dance first…
DESTINY: Listen, Skipper…is it Skipper?
SCOOTER: It’s Scooter…
DESTINY: Right, Skipper, Scooter, whatever.  Let me tell you how it works in showbusiness.  In showbusiness, the star does what the star does, and everybody else just makes it look good.  Okay?  So you go start the little song, okay?  Thanks.  Get in your places, everybody!
SCOOTER: But…but…(she sighs) okay…(She exits to start the song as everyone get into their places.  Music starts. Song: SONROCK KIDS CAMP.  About halfway through the song, DESTINY beings to invent some of her own choreography, which occasionally gets in the way of other students.  At the very end of the song, she bumps into KAREN, sending her toppling)
JOSH: Hey, you just knocked her over!
DESTINY: She shouldn’t have been standing there. 
HAYDEN: You need to apologize to her!
DESTINY: (bewildered) Why?
HAYDEN: Why I oughtta… (she prepares to punch DESTINY, but JOSH and HOWARD hold her back)
KAREN: It’s okay. I’m okay.
SCOOTER: All right, everybody get in place for the next song.  Peter Was a Fisherman. (Kids go to get into places.  HAYDEN and JOSH help KAREN to her feet)
DESTINY: I assume I’m playing the Peter guy in this song?
SCOOTER: Um…no, actually.  You’ll have to be in the chorus.
DESTINY: The chorus?  I don’t do chorus.  I don’t think you read my contract.
SCOOTER: This is Music Camp. We don’t have contracts.  
DESTINY: I only do leads.  If this song is about this Peter guy, then I have to be him.
HAYDEN: Peter is Josh’s part.  He’s practiced it, so he’s going to do it. 
DESTINY: Has Josh ever played a unicorn princess in a major animated movie?  Yeah.  Didn’t think so. 
HAYDEN: But at least he’s a boy.  You know, like Peter.
KAREN: What if we let Destiny be, like, Peter’s wife?  And she can be in the boat with him for the song.
HOWARD: Actually, in the story in the Bible, Peter’s wife was not in the boat with him. 
DESTINY: Yeah, okay.  As long as I get to be in the boat, that should work. 
SCOOTER: But..but…(sighs) okay…Here we go, everyone.  (Song: Peter Was a Fisherman.  JOSH plays PETER and HOWARD or another boy plays Jesus.  Once she realizes Peter’s wife is not a major player in the story, DESTINY again begins to make up her own “part,” taking over the scene by the very end.  By the end of the song, she has pushed JOSH over, much like what happened with KAREN at the end of the first song)
KAREN: Josh, are you okay? 
JOSH: Sure…
HAYDEN: Unicorn princess or no, you don’t have any right to come in here and push our people around…
DESTINY: I just gave the song what I thought it was missing.
HOWARD: What’s that?  Ice hockey?
DESTINY: Strong female characters.  Role models for girls, you know? 
SCOOTER: This isn’t going so well.  We’d better just rehearse the next song.  Everybody, get in  your places for Walking On the Water. 
 ASHLEY: Sweet!  I like this song!
DESTINY: Am I Gloria again?
JOSH: Gloria?  Who’s Gloria? 
DESTINY: Peter’s wife.  I decided she needed a name.  
KAREN: Actually, why don’t you take the solo in this song?
DESTINY: Solo?  Yeah…you’re right, we need to show off my singing skills some more.   (She begins warming up her singing voice with scales while the other kids huddle downstage)
HOWARD: But Karen, that was supposed to be Scooter’s solo. 
KAREN: I know, but if we let Destiny be in the song again, she might really hurt someone. 
SCOOTER: She’s right, Howard.
JOSH: We have got to do something about that girl. 
BILL: She might sing like an angel, but she sure don’t act like an angel!
HAYDEN: Oh, I’ll do something about her all right!
KAREN: Hayden!  Don’t hit her!
HAYDEN: Why not?
HOWARD: You remember what the New Testament says?  About turning the other cheek?
HAYDEN: I don’t want to turn another cheek. I want to punch her in the face! 
DESTINY: All right, I’m ready!  Let’s get this show on the road!
SCOOTER: Just stick together, guys.  We’ll get through this one. 
OTHERS: Right. (They break the huddle and perform the song WHO’S THAT WALKING ON THE WATER, with JOSH again playing PETER and the other boy from the last song playing JESUS again.  Since DESTINY is mostly by herself, the song goes off without incident)
SCOOTER: Great job, everybody.  Everyone sounded really good in that song!  Let’s run through…
DESTINY: I wouldn’t go that far.  I mean, everybody sounded okay, but you guys are pretty lucky I’m here. 
SCOOTER: Um, Destiny?  Do you think you could start talking a little nicer to everybody else? 
DESTINY: I’m not being mean.  I’m just stating a fact.  None of you guys would ever cut it in Hollywood.
SCOOTER: Okay, but we’re not in Hollywood.  And…this play isn’t all about you. 
JOSH: And we don’t care about having a big hit or being big stars.
DESTINY: Wow.  What kind of actors are you guys supposed to be? 
KAREN: That’s just it.  We’re not actors.  Not really. 
ASHLEY: We’re just kids who want to have some fun together and praise God with these songs.   
HAYDEN: Yeah, you know, God?  The one who gave you all of your talent and fame?  Seems like a guy you ought to be thankful to.  (BILL puts a hand on HAYDEN’S shoulder to calm her down a little bit)
HOWARD: I think you might be so busy making sure that you’re in the middle of the story, Destiny,  that you’re missing the whole point of the story. 
DESTINY: Wait…what?  I’m always in the middle of the story. 
BILL: Maybe that’s the problem. 
SCOOTER: Here, why don’t you sit over here and just watch these next couple of songs. 
DESTINY: Well…all right.  I could use a bit of a break after that last solo, anyway. (She sits off to the side during Keepin My Eyes on Jesus and How Great Is the Love)
DESTINY: You know what?  You guys really aren’t that bad after all.  And I can tell you all actually like each other.  That’s not something you see a lot of in Hollywood. 
JOSH: Well, like you said, we’re not exactly Major Movie material.  Shoot, I’ve never even been asked  to play a Unicorn Princess…
DESTINY: That was kind of a dumb thing for me to say, wasn’t it?  You guys are right, I’m just really used to being the most important person in the room.  I really haven’t been keeping my eyes on Jesus much at all lately. 
HAYDEN: I guess…I guess you’re not the only one.  I guess it hasn’t been very Christ-like of me to keep wanting to punch you in the face. Even if you have been really rude to all of my friends today.  So…I’m sorry about that. 
DESTINY: You’re sorry to me?  Aren’t I supposed to say that I’m sorry to all of you?
HAYDEN: Well, yeah.  But that doesn’t mean I’ve been much better than you have. 
KAREN: Why don’t you do the next one with us, Destiny? 
DESTINY: You want me to?
KAREN: Sure!
HOWARD: As long as you can do it with us.
BILL: And not knock anybody over in the process.
DESTINY: All right.  Thanks. (Song: You Will Be Saved.  After the song, everybody congratulates one another)
JOSH: All right!  We sounded awesome!
DESTINY: You’re right!  We did! 
SCOOTER: That’s just about all the time we have for this rehearsal, everybody.  Since we started late and everything.
DESTINY: That was my fault, too, wasn’t it?  I’m sorry, everybody.  And I’m sorry for bossing you around like that, Scooter.  And getting your name wrong.  Wow, I feel like I’ve been a really bad person today. 
SCOOTER: Thanks for apologizing, Destiny.  But we all have our bad days. 
KAREN: We’ve got another rehearsal tomorrow night.  Think you’ll be able to make it?
DESTINY: Yeah.  And maybe we’ll tone Gloria’s part down.  Just a little bit.  (Others laugh with her) I’m glad you all gave me another chance. 
HAYDEN: Well…I’m glad you’re here. 
DESTINY: Thanks.
SCOOTER:  All right, we’re all getting entirely too mushy.  What do you say we run through our last song and call it a night? 
ALL: SOUNDS GOOD!  (Last song: The Trail of Life)