Monday, August 10, 2009

Day Two-Hundred Eleven: Blasphemy

My OBU peeps may get a kick out of this one.

Then again, my OBU peeps may have all heard this one before.

Side note: I hate Peeps.

Anyway, I had to take a class on natural sciences while at OBU. I really loved the prof, and I really loved the material, yet somehow I hated every minute of the class, the reading, and the tests. I thought the stuff I was learning was really awesome, yet the process of learning it was nearly Comm Theory-unbearable.

Hang on, I gotta take a second to shudder at the memory of Comm Theory. I mean, was that class really required? Seriously?? Part of me thinks I must have made it up in the same dark part of my imagination that gave us the Urkali (the wolf-people, for those who've read the first draft of my book).

All right, back on topic: since this class was required for just about every non-science major on campus at the time (this was changed, I believe, a year after I took it), it was a large class, and most of the students didn't care. Therefore getting the class to settle down and pay attention at the beginning of the period often took a great deal of effort. The prof had a lapel mic to help project his voice over the dull roar that filled the smallish lecture hall, and he'd open each session with a scripture and, through the course of the lecture, show how he saw faith and scripture working together rather than against one another, only he did this totally not in the Kirk-Cameron-televised-debate-youtube-video-banana way, but a way that showed that this guy knew what he was talking about and what he believed, and you had to respect that. Well, unless you were just there to make fun of everything because it was a required class, and then you just weren't very respectful at all. But again, I digress. The point is, he opened with scripture, and there was a dull roar, so he usually had to repeat the first couple of words a few times before the kids started simmering down.

Example: "The fool says in his heart there is no God," becomes "The fool....the fool...THE FOOL SAYS in his heart..."

Well, one day I take my seat in the theare row (no, not in the back; we were actually toward the middle) and am pulling out my notes for the day when his voice comes booming over the speaker: "I am the Lord! I am the Lord! I am the Lord, everybody listen to me, I am the Lord!"

I turned to my friend with a bit of a puzzled expression and say, "I do believe this is the textbook definition of blasphemy."