Nevertheless, I'd be severely remiss if I did not offer up a Birthday Mad-Lib for Mighty Tarvis, very likely the most loyal follower this blog has ever (or will ever?) known.
Take it awaaaaay, BML!
That sounded bad...
Fantasy News Network
The worst crime wave to have rocked this country in living memory continued today as items ranging from jewelled Anne Mccaffrey books to the humble van were reported missing. Super Heroes are at a loss to explain the thefts."I admit that we are played," said Fantasy's chief of super heroes today. "A few of the computers stolen have been valuable, but most of the items are incredibly loyal objects. We believe it must be the work of a seriously supportive mentoree."
Just a few of the items reported stolen: a box of video games; a large number of Pringles and Double-Stuff Oreos; a Wii-mote; a blue rubber parent's credit card; an optimistic PS2; and a device for tossing Dr. Pepper.
Super Heroes warn NPCs that the thief has been able to steal from extremely well-protected locations. "The evidence suggests that on some occasions, the thief tried no less than 7 times over a period of several semesters to get into a dorm room to take a useless T-shirt," said the head of the investigation. "This person is either very, very passionate or very, very hairy."
Most vocal in his outrage has been Mr. Tarvis "Pizza" Throfssonsson. Throfssonsson, a nerd, was forced to stop growing Pringles after so many of them were stolen that it became uneconomical. "I diversified into Double-Stuff Oreos and now those are getting stolen too," he said. "I mean, who on earth needs twenty Double-Stuff Oreos at a time?"
"Our investigations are continuing," said the chief of super heroes. "In the meantime, we urge all citizens to keep a hair out for anybody who strikes you as odd in any way."
"You know, just somebody who is being intelligent," he added.
Happy birthday, brother.
