Friday, June 11, 2010

v2, d92: Guest Blog #2

Watch about 10 seconds of this video and you'll get a small glimpse of the euphoric pandemonium that struck the streets of Chicago this morning as the Blackhawks held their official Stanley Cup Championship parade and victory rally. Estimates are that close to two million people showed up. Unbelievable.

(No really, watch about 10 seconds. You get the idea pretty quickly, but it's an awesome sight to behold)

One of those nearly two million people was today's guest blogger, a seventeen-year-old Blackhawks fanatic from Metro Valley, Iowa, who threatened her big brother within an inch of his life if he didn't drive with her to Chicago to take in the festivities. Her name is Stacey, but her last name is protected because it's actually a "secret identity." Her crime-fighting name is Slapshot, and she's got the low-down on the Stanley Cup from a superheroic Blackhawk fan's perspective.

(As always, views and opinions expressed by FOMW Guest Bloggers may or may not reflect that actual views of the FOMW staff)



It's been two days, and I swear I haven't slept more than eight hours, total, since Patty Kane went five-hole on Michael Leighton to end the most awesome series in Chicago Blackhawks history! After forty-nine years of waiting, the Stanley Cup is finally ours!!!!!!

People just don't understand how hard it is to win that thing! The last time the Hawks even played in the Stanley Cup Final, I wasn't born yet. My brother was two. The last time in my life we even had a team that was good enough to even THINK about the Stanley Cup, I was three! As you can see, I've been waiting a LOOOOOOONG time for this!!

So of COURSE I made my big brother drive me to Chi-Town for some deep dish pizza--oh, and the best parade EVER! It was CRAZY! There were SO many people, and everyone was SO happy and having SO much fun!! Most of us had given up hope we'd EVER win a Stanley Cup about five or six years ago. It was like we were all in the same huge, really awesome dream. It almost didn't feel real until the boys finally pulled up in bright red double-decker buses, with Coach Q holding that beautiful silver trophy over the crowd. I was part stoked and part terrified. I screamed as loud as I could, "DON'T DROP IT!!!" (You know, those idiots in Dallas actually DID that once?? Dropped it from the top of a house into a swimming pool and DENTED it! DENTED THE STANLEY CUP!! Hmph! Glad they haven't won it since!) Anyway, there's no way he heard me, but he didn't drop it, so it was okay.

By the way, I LOVE THIS TEAM! Like, not just the Blackhawks, but Patty, Buff, Niemi, Soapy, Soupy, Brent, Duncan, Steeg, Smoke, Johnny T, ALL of the guys! Even Hossa and Kopecky! I never DREAMED I could love any guy who used to wear a Red Wing on his chest, but I can!

Speaking of Hossa, he looked so happy to finally get his hands on that thing! It was almost cute. It probably would have been cute, if not for that BEARD!

Oh. My. Gosh. Those BEARDS! For those of you who don't know, hockey players don't shave in the playoffs!! It's so gross! You can barely recognize them when they're skating around the ice with the Cup when it's all over! I mean, it's a great tradition, and I love it, but dang it was nice to see some of my boys looking like their old selves again on the streets of Chicago!

Ugh. Hang on. My brother wants to say something. He won't leave me alone, so I'm going to let him type something.


Hi. I'm the Iron Lung, and I'm a super hero. And I have to say that Chicago pizza is SO GOOD! That's all. Here's my sister again.


Wow. Thanks for that, bro. That was a winner.

ANYWAY, I remember about six years or so ago, when Daddy sat me down and explained to me that I would probably never get a chance to be a Chicago Blackhawk. Like, ever. I was SO CRUSHED! I think I cried the rest of the day, and then I just got mad for like two months, and then eventually I realized he was right, and I kind of got used to it. Then, about two years ago, I decided that, maybe it was true that I couldn't BE a Blackhawk, but that couldn't stop me from MARRYING a Blackhawk someday! I will get my hands on that Cup one way or another, believe me!

I was convinced that I was going to be Mrs. Stacey Kane for a while, but then last summer, Patty got a little...crazy...SO I started to look at my other options. I was thinking about Steeger for awhile. Then, today, he did this:

So, yeah, that may not be happening any more. I don't know if Buff is attached to anybody or not, but that dude is tough! He and I would be such an awesome team! Taking it to 'em on the ice, then fighting crime together at night, our own dynamic duo of hockey awesomeness! We could be, like, Buff and Basher, or something. (I'd be Basher) Although I have no idea how in the world you get BUFF-glen out of "Byfuglien," LOL. (Actually, I think it's Norwegian. So there's that.) And our archenemies would probably be, like, Chris Pronger. Or Danny Carcillo. Ooh, or both of them together! I'd probably never try to tangle with Pronger, but I'm pretty sure I could take that Carcillo twerp. And Buff can obviously take Pronger. Cuz he already did.

Anyway, the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup! We're awesome! It feels SO GOOD!!! I totally can't stop smiling!

Crud. I gotta go. Some evil cowboy named Huevos Rancheros is apparently attacking people at the zoo and trying to free animals, or something like that. Sigh. Villains are so dumb. Why would you pick "Ranch Eggs" as your villain name?

I'll bet even Pronger would come up with something better than that.