Friday, July 17, 2009

Day One-Hundred Eighty-Seven: I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor...

...and I don't like it very much.

Anybody remember this song from childhood? The kids downstairs have been practicing it for their showcase all week. Fun song. For those who aren't In The Know, the singer of the song is in the process of being eaten by a boa constrictor--a situation the singer finds unfavorable. As their doom is slowly sealed, the singer frets over each body part that disappears into the beast's jaws--tows, knees, thigh, middle, neck, and before he or she can lament the loss of his or her head, the song ends in a gulp.

It's good times.'s LIES! ALL LIES!!!

A boa constrictor would NOT start eating you at the toes! It would start at the head! That is, IF such a snake were actually large enough to eat you! A more accurate singing of the song would go "I'm being swallowed by a MMF MF MMPH MMMMMMFH..." Furthermore, boas hunt by wrapping their bodies around their prey and constricting (hence the name "constrictors", clever, no?) every time their victim breathes out, suffocating them. You'd be dead before the creature began to swallow you. You would not have time to sing a song! Never! A more accurate singing of the song in this case would be, "I'm being suffocated by a boa constrictor...I...ACK! GASP! *cough cough* *Silence*"

What are we teaching these children?

For the record, this was among my favorite childhood songs :-)